I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
