He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we're making bets on your personal life
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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