Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just saw a hot homeless man
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I did not marry a roomba.
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