We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
