I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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