seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
