I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
