Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
