he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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