tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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