dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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