i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize