There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
