Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
