i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
