dude i'm inner monologue high
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
