I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
