she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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