watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
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