If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
