brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
