hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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