guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
