smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
