His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
