You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
