these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
