Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
