did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you win again, gameday.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
