Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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