Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
