ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
