she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize