the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
