That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
