girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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