Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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