Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
