make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
