Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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