and you said cock pushups were impossible
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
