The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
