This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize