He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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