i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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