also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
