My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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