Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Is it because I queefed?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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