i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
