Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She swung at the pinata with crutches
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
