We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize