Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
