I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
