We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
