you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
