Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I bet he comes in French.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
