im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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