Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize