my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
