the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Randomize