I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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