just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize