capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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